Charismatic Conversations #5

Another chain mail this time, but pictures. Shikhar sent me this awesome e-mail. Its about women.

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Charismatic Conversations #4

I know how much we all hate chain mails (and there are some who still don’t), but this I simply had to post here. Its just too good.

Q: What do you get from a silkworm?

A: Silk. Correct.

Now spell it five times

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Q: What do cows drink?

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A: Water. If you said milk, you’re brain is overheating. You better dip your head in a bowl of ice cool water, of or something, or go lie on the bed and sleep for a decade or so.

Delhi Dareport

I was travelling to Bengaluru from Delhi on the 16th of May (you all following @crytalunicorn on Twitter would know), and here is an honest review about the entire trip.

My flight was a Jet Airways DEL-BLR at six-thirty in the morning. I know. “Tasty food” bubbles pop up in my mind too, whenver I think about Jet Airways. Naturally, I left home by four and reached by five. This song was playing on my Xplod in the morning:

Alvida… Alvida…

Teri Yaadein Alvida

Ab Tune Keh Diya Toh

Alvida…

As if bidding goodbye to me. Sob. Sob. I’ll miss you Delhi!

Now,  Dad dropped me and mom off at departures. The airport was different than last year. Jet and many other flights are in Terminal 1D. Also, when you enter the airport, the check-in-cum-baggage-drop-off counter is just at your right, not inside another complex. Thats plus points, as it is easier to access than before. God knows about the commotion there during peak hours. I had a friggin’ morning flight!

I had three suitcases to drop-off, and I looked expectantly at the workers to lift them and put them on the conveyor belt. No luck. I did it myself, and cut my middle finger, which healed in twenty-five seconds. I tried to be extra-careful with the bag housing my PlayStation.

Now, to security check. When I was getting checked, one two three people were standing a millimetre behind me, which is wrong, as you should stand behind the yellow line. Naturally, the security guard ushered them away.

I put my wallet and phone in that tray and pushed it through. On the other side, I found it missing. It was not at its usual place, but with a police officer, who was examining the wallet carefully. There was nothing about the phone, which he could examine. After the tragic demise of my 7610 Supernova which suffered from a bad case of pneumonia, I am using a 3315. Back to the basics, I must say.

I went to that guy.

Me-”Ahem!”

He-”Kya hai?”

Me-”Woh wallet mera hai.”

He-”Le le.”

Me-”Aur phone bhi.”

He-”Toh main kaunsa apne paas rakh ke puja kar raha hoon?”

After grumpy looks were exchanged between both of us, I finally got it back.

Next up, waiting time. Bad time. There are so many things to buy around you, and all at double the rates. Wow. There were about twenty-five minutes remaining for the departure of my flight, and my stomach was grumbling. My eyes fell on (Mmm!) 21 Baker Street. Not exactly Sherlock Holmes, but a sweet smelling bakery. Me and mom gobbled up a (very heavy) fruit cake and choco-fantasy each, when we realised that only fifteen minutes were left for the flight to take off, and we still had not received the boarding call. I rushed to the monitor up ahead and it said “Now Boarding”.

Damn.

We ran out and found no boarding gates. I asked the Jet Airways Customer Desk and she told me to go down. Another change. The boarding gates are now on the floor below, and not on the same floor as the waiting room. We got down, went into the bus (a rather small one) and travelled nearly seventeen minutes on the runway to reach the plane.

Finally, we’re in (Economy Class) and there’s a JetScreen in front of me. JetScreen is Jet Airways’s in-flight entertainment touch-screen console. Movies, music, documentaries and flight information on demand. Obvoiulsy, it wasn’t working as the plane hadn’t taken off as yet. I read the in-flight entertainment guide, and was surprised to see a large number of movies on board! Slumdog Millionaire, Ghajini, Valkyrie, Dostana, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, etc. But, sadly, none of these were available in reality. On a second look at the guide, I found out that these were only on international routes. Only Billu, Fashion, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and a few others were there. Seen all. Now what? I settled with an episode each from Sarabhai vs Sarabhi and The Simpsons. Then I played some bowling and Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. The latter was amazing! It had all three lifelines! A virtual friend to whom you can talk to, was also there. It was great. Unfortunately, the headphones I was provided were faulty. Thankfully, I exchanged them for new ones. They definitely aren’t comfortable, but I had no alternative, as my headphone along with my iPod had been packed rather foolishly in some suitcase.

The food was good, but I was full to eat anything. Overall, the flight was comfortable, but the entire experience itself was not.

Landed at Bengaluru airport about a minute late. Thats okay. Got off from the aerobridge, and landed at a beautiful-looking arrival area. Baggage claim was a breeze, and I had all three suitcases in five minutes flat. Its good.

My rating of this plane experience: 3.3/5

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 2.5 India License.

Charismatic Conversations #3

Amazing. Just. Simply. Brilliant.

ATTORNEY : She had three children, right?
WITNESS : Yes.
ATTORNEY : How many were boys?
WITNESS : None.
ATTORNEY : Were there any girls?
WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY : How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS : By death.
ATTORNEY : And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS : Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY : Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS : He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY : Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS : Guess.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY : Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS : The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY : And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS : No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY : This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS : Yes.
ATTORNEY : And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS : I forget.
ATTORNEY : You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY : What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS : He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
ATTORNEY : And why did that upset you?
WITNESS : My name is Susan!
_____________________________________________
ATTORNEY : Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS : No.
ATTORNEY : Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS : No.
ATTORNEY : Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS : No.
ATTORNEY : So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS : No.
ATTORNEY : How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS : Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY : I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS : Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

Charsimatic Conversations #2

{Chat: Between Arjun Attam and Me on the 18th of December, 2006, Monday}

{Note: Do ignore my noob-iness. This chat is approximately two-and-a-half years old.}

7:56 PM hey u have mtnl broadband?

BUZZ!!

Arjun: yes

me: u know how 2 check monthly mb usage?

7:57 PM Arjun: register.bol.net.in

me: cool

how much did u have last month?

Arjun: about 800

me: u cant beat mine though

cool

mine was 820

not event half month is over and mine is 413

Arjun: u wont guess mine

its 750

7:58 PM )

me: burp

i’m feeling sick…

i vomit on the screen

fump!

Arjun: g2g

7:59 PM me: a yellowish-white squishy, juicy, yuck slime pours down

trickle tricle

Arjun: lol

lol

lol

me: and it reaches u

u lick it

slurp

hmmm

yummy!!! u say

can i have sum more?

Arjun: yes u can

im full

Charsimatic Conversations #1

Starting now is (yet another) series on (you guessed it right!) Charismatic Conversations! Now these may be anything which may sound really funny and nice to me, and may sound really boring to you. But its fun, nevertheless. They maybe from anywhere – chats, books, movies, television shows, real conversations, or even with Thoughtspeak. Thoughtspeak is me, and not me. Its an individual that resides within me, and we talk to each other quite often, especially when I (and he) are bored.

Here goes:

{Chat: Between Mridul Kapoor and Me on the 3rd of December, 2008, Wednesday.}

me: r u using pidgin?

10:39 PM Mridul: no gmail

me: But I don’t think too many teams should go. {Talking about TCS}

Aah

so u used _bold_?

Mridul: same here

me: oh

i used font

Mridul: no its * *

me: pidgin

superior to gtalk

10:40 PM loser

katta

i have ur code wars certificates

when will you take it

10:41 PM Mridul: friday

english paper

me: aah

so how was the paper today?

Mridul: i will pass

me: tapas told me it was horrible

lol

was it so bad?

10:42 PM Mridul: i mean it was quite an easy paper but i had studied much for it

skipped 3 chapters

me: 3?

Three?!?

Mridul: got a one mark ques… what is the main function of modem?

from a chapter i skipped and thought at least 1 mark i’ll score…and then..

10:43 PM me: conversion of digital signals to telephonic and vice-versa

MODulation DEModulation

Mridul: ma’am told to change the ques..
to what is a transducer

i Know That

me: aw man

10:44 PM Mridul: but unluckily.. the question was changed

me: i know that too

A transducer is a device, usually electrical, electronic, electro-mechanical, electromagnetic, photonic, or photovoltaic that converts one type of energy or physical attribute to another for various purposes including measurement or information transfer (for example, pressure sensors).

Bow to Lord Vader

Do you have a board on 17th/16th

10:46 PM Uhmmm… you there?

Mridul: you got it from wikipedia?

10:47 PM me: No

wikipedia got it from me

10000

Just has my blog completed 30000 hits, the top post 3D Analyze: Virtual Graphics Emulator has just grossed 10,018 views! Yippie!