Charismatic Conversations #6

{Chat between Me and Arjun Attam on Friday, June 12th 2009}

“Comedy of Errors”

me: hi

Arjun: hello

me: so hows the college admissions goin on?

4:02 PM Arjun: havent started

me: really?

Arjun: iit counselling tomorrow

me: :O

u alredy got into iit rite?

4:03 PM Arjun: i have the rank

need to choose my course and city tomorrow

me: which eye-eye-tee do u probably think you’re in?

Arjun: delhi

me: whoa

iit delhi–heard its the besht

did u update your facebook status abt the iPhone 3G S launch?

4:07 PM Arjun: no, i didn

why? :S

me: i thought mridul did

when i asked him, i got a negative

so i thot i saw u do it

but its not u as well

4:08 PM it was abt sum keynote launch

started driving?

4:09 PM hello?

Arjun: yes

4:10 PM what

me: started drifting?

Arjun: started driving?

no, i didn’t

i was probably rowing a boat in nainital at that time

me: what time?

4:11 PM Arjun: arey yaar

4:12 PM me: hm?

Arjun: hmm what

i dont know the time

and i didn’t post any status update about the iphone 3gs

4:13 PM me: thats okay

Arjun:

4:14 PM this has been a strange convo, is this a joke?

me: u got a 4 state rank in drawing?!?

nah

its probably a comedy of errors

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Charismatic Conversations #3

Amazing. Just. Simply. Brilliant.

ATTORNEY : She had three children, right?
WITNESS : Yes.
ATTORNEY : How many were boys?
WITNESS : None.
ATTORNEY : Were there any girls?
WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY : How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS : By death.
ATTORNEY : And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS : Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY : Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS : He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY : Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS : Guess.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY : Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS : The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY : And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS : No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY : This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS : Yes.
ATTORNEY : And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS : I forget.
ATTORNEY : You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY : What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS : He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
ATTORNEY : And why did that upset you?
WITNESS : My name is Susan!
_____________________________________________
ATTORNEY : Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS : No.
ATTORNEY : Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS : No.
ATTORNEY : Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS : No.
ATTORNEY : So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS : No.
ATTORNEY : How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS : Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY : I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS : Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

Charsimatic Conversations #2

{Chat: Between Arjun Attam and Me on the 18th of December, 2006, Monday}

{Note: Do ignore my noob-iness. This chat is approximately two-and-a-half years old.}

7:56 PM hey u have mtnl broadband?

BUZZ!!

Arjun: yes

me: u know how 2 check monthly mb usage?

7:57 PM Arjun: register.bol.net.in

me: cool

how much did u have last month?

Arjun: about 800

me: u cant beat mine though

cool

mine was 820

not event half month is over and mine is 413

Arjun: u wont guess mine

its 750

7:58 PM )

me: burp

i’m feeling sick…

i vomit on the screen

fump!

Arjun: g2g

7:59 PM me: a yellowish-white squishy, juicy, yuck slime pours down

trickle tricle

Arjun: lol

lol

lol

me: and it reaches u

u lick it

slurp

hmmm

yummy!!! u say

can i have sum more?

Arjun: yes u can

im full

Charsimatic Conversations #1

Starting now is (yet another) series on (you guessed it right!) Charismatic Conversations! Now these may be anything which may sound really funny and nice to me, and may sound really boring to you. But its fun, nevertheless. They maybe from anywhere – chats, books, movies, television shows, real conversations, or even with Thoughtspeak. Thoughtspeak is me, and not me. Its an individual that resides within me, and we talk to each other quite often, especially when I (and he) are bored.

Here goes:

{Chat: Between Mridul Kapoor and Me on the 3rd of December, 2008, Wednesday.}

me: r u using pidgin?

10:39 PM Mridul: no gmail

me: But I don’t think too many teams should go. {Talking about TCS}

Aah

so u used _bold_?

Mridul: same here

me: oh

i used font

Mridul: no its * *

me: pidgin

superior to gtalk

10:40 PM loser

katta

i have ur code wars certificates

when will you take it

10:41 PM Mridul: friday

english paper

me: aah

so how was the paper today?

Mridul: i will pass

me: tapas told me it was horrible

lol

was it so bad?

10:42 PM Mridul: i mean it was quite an easy paper but i had studied much for it

skipped 3 chapters

me: 3?

Three?!?

Mridul: got a one mark ques… what is the main function of modem?

from a chapter i skipped and thought at least 1 mark i’ll score…and then..

10:43 PM me: conversion of digital signals to telephonic and vice-versa

MODulation DEModulation

Mridul: ma’am told to change the ques..
to what is a transducer

i Know That

me: aw man

10:44 PM Mridul: but unluckily.. the question was changed

me: i know that too

A transducer is a device, usually electrical, electronic, electro-mechanical, electromagnetic, photonic, or photovoltaic that converts one type of energy or physical attribute to another for various purposes including measurement or information transfer (for example, pressure sensors).

Bow to Lord Vader

Do you have a board on 17th/16th

10:46 PM Uhmmm… you there?

Mridul: you got it from wikipedia?

10:47 PM me: No

wikipedia got it from me

10000

Just has my blog completed 30000 hits, the top post 3D Analyze: Virtual Graphics Emulator has just grossed 10,018 views! Yippie!

Nostalgia

School started a couple of weeks ago, and class 10th is already buzzing past at the speed of the Bistromathic drive. Definitely not as fast as the Infinite Improbability Drive . There is no time to even think about symposiums.  But even as I look forward to school everyday, its not the same as last year. Or the year before that. Its because of the Converge Clan. Nostalgia.

I was sitting in the computer lab today, attending the class, and I was suddenly overcome by emotion. I had spend a lot of time here with those Converge Clan guys.  It stills gives me pangs of sorrow in my heart, when I realise that I will never see them at school again – not in the school uniform at least. Arjun (that traitor!) left school to join DPS Vasant Kunj about a couple of years ago, and I did feel bad. But it was fun how I and Mridul vowed to beat him at quizzes. The fact that he never participated in any quiz, is another story. Arjun actually cleared two places for me (as a quizzer) and Shikhar (as a digital imager). His  exit from school for actually quite beneficial to us. But when all the others left this year, it was like real bad. I was feeling bad at the farewell itself. No Mridul will turn up, excited about a new Linus distro he installed. No Arpit, being picked upon by Bar-man. No Tapas, complaining about ProStreet screwing up his PC. No Aayush, discussing about the many flaws in Windows XP SP3. No Mayank, criticizing life in his endless vocabulary. No Mudit, who, hardly ever talked anyway. Its sad. Real sad.

I often recollect those times, when we had a smashing time while returning from a competition.  Especially that part, when, when Tapas shouted at this guy on a scooter, and he lifted both his legs up in the air, while driving. And also that time, when I was relatively new, I conducted Kaun Banega Crorepati in the vehicle. It was fun.

I still feel it will be difficult to adjust to the fact that none of them will be there to help me anymore, or the Converge Clan as a whole. It’ll be difficult to digest that. Mridul and me often used to plot against the Bee, while he was still quizzing, that is. (Oh, the “Bee” is this guy. Thats because when the name is pronounced, it gets “bee” in the end. So, the bee.) Many of the plans involved mixing “filthy liquids almost, but not entirely, unlike tea” in the refreshments.

I wonder all the time, what all of them would be doing now. Mridul would probably be finding out more about the Special Theory of Relativity, or still be playing Counter-Strike. Arpit would probably be chilling out with Grappo Fizz (his cousin) in some fridge. Tapas might have bought the new Core i7, or an Xbox 360, or a XFX Geforce. Mudit will be arguing with a McDonald’s waiter for putting cheese in his burger. Mayank will be writing a poem. Aayush would be playing Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War 2.

Phineas And Ferb – The Indian Education System

My friend Mudit modified the Phineas and Ferb Title Track Lyrics and made them appropriate for the Indian Education System:

There’s only 44 days for summer vacation
and skool has started before it
So the annual problem for our generation
is finding a good way to spend it.
LIKE MAYBE…..
Building a model or colouring a chart or climbing up imagination tower
Discovering something that already exists or giving ourselves a shower.
Surfing the internet, creating project works or locating our own brain.
Finding our homeworks, painting the covers or being driven insane.
As u can see there’s a whole lot of stuff to rack
before school starts this rainfall
So stick with us & miss all the fun cuz we won’t b able to do it all
So stick with us & miss all the fun cuz we won’t b able to do it all

Here’s the original version

Poll #1

I signed up with PollDaddy, and thought of posting a poll here. You’ve read a read a review of all the symposiums I’ve visited throughout the year, and of course, there are some I haven’t and you have. Feel free to add more options. And please, do not try to vote more than once.

Be honest.

Competition Success Review #7: Virus 2008

There was no quiz at Virus 2008, and I refused to go for surprise event. So Shikhar writes a guest post about Virus 2008, held at Bluebells. Take care that “Me” refers to Shikhar, and not Aditya.

“ Energy, nitro, acceleration and combustion- overall a high octane filled adrenaline rush powered by the brains of the members of this club.”

That’s how the ENIAC club describes VIRUS.

ENIAC here is not – Electronic Numerator Integrator and Calculator, but Energy NItro Acceleration and Combustion, the Computer Club of Bluebells International School. And with Virus, I’m not talking about malware but the annual computer event at Bluebells.

It was the first time that we were invited at Virus.

I called up Aditya the day we got the invitation-

Me- “Saw the events?”

Aditya- “Not yet.”

Me- “I’ll go for Short Movie and Digital Imaging.”

Aditya- “Alright, I and Mridul will go for the quiz.”

Me- “Er… There is no quiz.”

No quiz. Yes, Virus at BlueBells didn’t have a quiz. The second tech-symposium I’ve heard of without a quiz, the first being Techchamps at Maharaja Agrasen. Three years back they had 2 events- Digital Imaging, for Class VI to VIII [with MS Paint] and PowerPoint, for Class IX. So there was no other event where Aditya could go. Tough luck.

I started preparing for my event Short Movie. The topic was “Superhero Movie”. I thought of making a spoof on Star Wars and relate it to Malware. I had Lord McAfee as my hero, and the mighty Trojan as his rival. The fight took place on the XP Republic. It took 8 hours to make the movie (1½ hour acting time, 4 hours special effects, ½ hour media generation, 1 hour rendering time). The video came out to be quite good. Quite good would be an understatement, especially after seeing the works of other school students, but that comes later.

The day of the event came and we were ready to leave. Shakespeare Mrittunjoy had not come. We went to his class to call him up. He didn’t know he had to go. But we still brought him from his Maths class.

We started for Bluebells quite late, courtesy Shakespeare, so on the way I called up at Bluebells (the mobile number they had given in their invitation) and told them that we’ll be late so please register our school.

The reply I got was

“I’m sorry but my son doesn’t take his cell phone to school. I will convey your message when he comes back.”

We reached late but none of the events had started by then.

I submitted my Short Movie Entry at the registration counter.

Mayank and Mridul went for Programming and Mudit left for Audio Building (in Fruity Loops). Shakespeare Mrittunjoy went for HAM: Half-A-Minute.

Arpit and Aayush stayed in the hall.

The Short Movie event started. The schedule said that only the videos which qualify the prelims will be shown onstage. But all entries were shown because half of the schools didn’t submit an entry.

And this is a brief summary of the Superhero movie presentations I remember:

First movie was by Bal Bharti.

The best effect used in the video was Fade In. Yes, and that happened when a scene of two children (in school uniform) engaged in combat smoothly fades away to a give away a fight sequence from Final Fantasy XII.

Second was by some school I don’t remember (and I don’t regret it).

One could say that they did a great job by animating the characters Optimus Prime and Megatron, rendering them in full 3D, doing an industry standard compositing and sound-editing job, and getting Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox to act for them.

Or one could also say that they stripped off scenes from Transformers.

Next Up was DPS RKP.

I was expecting something good here. But I was turned out wrong.

The plot- A boy fails in his exams. Everyone teases him. His teacher takes him out of the class and tutors him. He tops in the class in the next exam. TZP2?

Superhero connect? Our teachers are the real superheroes.

After that came St. Xavier’s. They called their presentation “Urban superheroes” or something like that. During the entire video they had people jumping up and down the buildings. The special effect was application of grayscale tint.

The audience had already started to moan and groan.

After that my movie was shown. The crowd had started applauding halfway through the presentation. The judges were astounded by the presentation. It was very clear during the interjections.

Meanwhile in Audio Building Mudit was supposed to prepare a Superhero music theme. He cleverly copied the music from the presets and modified it. Judges were quite happy with the final output and they never noticed it. He could have won only if some guy from Bluebells hadn’t seen what he did and told the judges. I went for my second event digital imaging. The topic again was ‘Superhero Anti-virus’. We had to prepare an anti-virus advertisement.

During the prize distribution ceremony:

Announcer-“ And the awards for Short Movie are-“

Third prize is announced.

Second prize is announced. It doesn’t go to me.

Mridul- “Chal Shikhar. Tera award aaney vaala hai.”

Announcer- “And the first prize goes to Shikhar Gautam from Montfort school.”

We got 3^rd prize in Programming. Mridul and Mayank go onstage to take their awards certificates. There was no trophy for 3^rd prize.

In digital imaging I get 3^rd yet again. The next time I ascend the stage, the principal remarks-

“It appears that Montfort has great multimedia labs. Keep it up.”

Yeah. Ask anyone at Montfort how great our multimedia labs are. Anybody who has read the Oxford Computer Textbook for Class IX will say we have the best computer labs in the world.

THE Requirements

By the time the event ended, we had an overdose of superheroes with each event having superhero as the theme (except Programming). The ENIAC club promised us an adrenaline rush. But the only rush I witnessed was the rush to leave the hall at the end of the event.

Competition Success Review #6: TCS IT Wiz 2008

“Toh finally CodeWars jaayenge ki nahi?”

“Pata nahi. 11 December ko tayyar rahiyo”

“Aur Exun?”

“Nahi. Us din meri FITJEE ki class hai. Par 11 December ko tayyar rahiyo. Us din mein ekdum free hoon.”

Mridul of ecstatic and obsessed with going to TCS IT Wiz, on 11 December. Last time, I was in Manali, and missed CodeWars as well as TCS IT Wiz. Mrittunjoy and Mridul went together, were coming first, and then lost out due to their overcautious mentality. This time, Mridul wanted no mistake whatsoever. He wanted to win it this time.

So he told me to be ready. 11 December was the big day. Shikhar and Arpit were going together; the latter went only to see IIT, which was the venue. TCS was to be held a long time ago (usually at Siri Fort), but the venue was changed to IIT, Dogra Hall. Mrittunjoy was going with another kid, whose name I wouldn’t reveal. He is the trump card in Montfort quizzing.

On the 10th of December, Mridul and me were preparing furiously for TCS IT Wiz. I paid extra attention at all Apple-related stuff. Especially watching the older Mac ads. Finally, tomorrow comes, contrary to the popular belief of our teachers.

“Tomorrow never comes”

Mridul and I have already circulated the Halloween Documents, which is a secret 5 MB PDF consisting of trivia and quiz questions. I have it stored in my mobile, ready to access it anytime. I knew reading Babel was useless, as no acronyms would be asked anyway.

Until last year, I had never been to a big quiz like this. In 2009, TCS IT Wiz the third one, the former two being Jack Kilby TI Quiz (to which I have a certain fondness, as I own a TI modem), and the Aqua Regia T.I.M.E Quiz. Both were Science quizzes. And both were tough.

But this time, it was different. I knew I stood a chance of qualifying, and winning. Because of Montfort’s impressive form at all tech quizzes, where we won at least something.

We reach the place, which is packed. The event starts off schedule, as there are answer sheets being distributed. Finally, it begins, and Giri “Pickbrain” makes a dramatic appearance. After the traditional hi-hello-welcome, we come to know about the delay in the programme. An unprecedented number – 650 teams have turned up, and IIT Dogra Hall has run out of seats – people are sitting on the floor. LOL! New answer sheet photocopies have to be made, and more refreshments are ordered.

The prelims are officially underway.

1] Name the general purpose very-high level programming language designed by Rossum. [Hint: It is dangerous.]

“Kya ho sakta hai?

“Its dangerous… Python?”

“Haan!”

2] It was created by James Gosling, and is alternatively known as the  Oak Project.

“Obvious hai yaar. Java hai. Maine ye answer class 6 mein diya tha.”

9] Which product led Cisco to file a lawsuit on trademark infringement against Apple Inc.?

“iPhone.”

“Mridul, sure hai na?”

“Of course. iPhone Cisco ka modem hai.”

“Hoga.”

10] The acquisition of which company by Google Inc. marked their entry into the world of mobile device software?

“Arre yaar Mridul. Lifehacker par padh padh ke bore ho gaya hoon.”

11] Photorealistic Renderman or PR Man is the product owned by which company? [Hint: It is owned by a company which makes many animation films.]

“Pixar. Pakka Mridul. Meine iCon mein padha tha. Hint ki zaroorat hi nahi thi”

19] Which service do all Apple Inc. devices, such as the Macbook, the iMac, the iPhone and the iPod Touch, use to synchronize data?

“Hmm. Pata nahi yaar. I don’t remember reading this.”

And those were a few prelim questions. Download the entire prelims archive here.

Then answers. We got about 15 correct. Then refreshments time. Which means its time to meet up with the others. Just before we go out, Mridul has to go to the loo. I meet V.S Karthik there.

“Last wale question ka kya answer tha?”

“Kingston”

“Oh no!”

“You didn’t get Kingston?”

C’mon, it was the easiest question in the quiz!

Now, we meet Prashanth Kanduri, who is looking confident.

“Kitne aaye?”

“15″

“Same here.”

“Prashanth? Game ka kya likha?”

“It was Gears of War.”

“You wrote it?”

“No. But I’m sure its Gears of War.”

Shikhar, former X360 owner, who heard this conversation, had the following words to express:

“Jab Prashanth ne Gears of War kaha, itna gussa aa raha tha! Gears of War mein when you’re hit, there’s a hand which appears in the centre, when you have low health. Then you recover.”

Whoa. When Shikhar takes interest in something, he learns about it in perfection. Like GoW, and the entire Adobe suite. He is an expert in working with After Effects and Photoshop, and even knows their CS3 and CS4 codenames, which most quizzers might not know. Most includes me.

Finally, we are back. Now for the results.

Giri- “Before I announce the qualifiers, a special mention on certain teams who missed out. Coming eighth, Vivek Nair and Karthick from DPS Vasant Kunj!”

<Applause>

I was clapping really hard. So hard that my hands and the nearby listener’s ears turn red. Such was the case with Shikhar.

“Itni zor se kya mar raha hai?”

“They deserve it. They really do.”

</Applause>

Mridul- “Did you know, last time Ramit Singhal came seventh.”

Me- “Unlucky chap, to have missed out like that.”

Giri- “And coming seventh, is a team which comprises of a young quizzer from 9th…”

Me- “Can’t be us!”

“… and a quizzer from 12th…”

Me- “Damn”

“… Mridul Kapoor and Aditya, from Montfort School, who lost out by just 1 mark!”

Mridul- “Groan…”

We go up in silence, and collect a pair of Philips headphones each, and a dinner for two at Trident hotel in Gurgaon, which we haven’t used till date.

This is too much man. We lose out just by one mark! Unbelievable stuff. Kalka, DPS RKP, DPS Noida, Springdales are amongst some who qualified.

I saw the entire quiz. Mridul and me know almost all of the answers. One was even repeated.

“A Microsoft codec was reverse-engineered to form another codec. Name it”

It was XviD. But the quiz finals were great. Some questions were really good. DPS Noida (who won in WarP) were winning, but DPS RKP fought. Fought hard. And they stole the quiz in the connect round. I think they got nearly 30 points there.

In the last round, Springdales gave a charge and threatened to displace DPS Noida from 2nd spot, but the latter prevailed. DPS RKP won a lappie each, and dinner at Shangri-La. Very bad.

We went home in gloom. I hope I win it this time.