Download The TCS IT Wiz 2009 Quiz Finals

I’ve given you the prelims, Now eat the finals. The prelims were compiled by Shikhar, and hosted by me. The finals are compiled and written by Shreyans, and hosted by me. You can now see how I love to take credit for others’ work and boost my blog views.

Download The TCS IT Wiz 2009 Quiz Finals

A small note here. This quiz archive is EPIC. It’s simply awesome! Download it for sure. At. Any. Cost. Shreyans has compiled a truly magnificent archive. Never before have a seen something like this. If possible, print it on photo paper and frame it.

Download The TCS IT Wiz 2009 Quiz Prelims

TCS IT Wiz 2009 was held on 31st October 2009, and 909 teams turned up. I managed to finish tenth out of them (along with Saumey). DPS Noida won this year’s edition of TCS IT Wiz. You can download the quiz prelims here. Quiz finals are being prepared. More later.

Please give Shikhar complete credit for this work. It may have been hosted at my blog and typed by me, he made it a point to write them all down during the quiz (you can improve your handwriting, Shikhar).

Download the TCS IT Wiz 2009 Prelims

Gparted: The Weapon Of Mass Destruction

When George Bush waged war against Iraq, he found a pack of Ubuntu disks.

Weapons of Mass Destruction

Check Your Internet Speed At Speedtest.net

I’ve lost track of the number of times ISPs have lied to us about the download speeds they offer us. Novice users can also get confused about the difference between Mbps, Kbps, MBps and KBps (for the record, Mbps is mega bits per second, and MBps with a capital B is mega bytes per second. Mega bits has a value eight times that of mega bytes per second).

Speedtest.net is a funky place to know your true speed. It calculates ping time(in milliseconds), upload speed and download speed (in Mbps).

Just visit the site, and wait till Speedtest.net automatically detects your nearest server. Click on the yellow pyramid to start the test. The coolest part of the test has to be the speedometer.

Also, something really great is that based on the download speed, you also have an idea about the time it will take to download a particular movie or song. Also, you can copy some direct links (to images) and forum links (for embedding) to boast about your download speeds, especially if you have an internet backbone connection (whoever’s got that, I envy you. Just wait till you see my download speed).

Do you have any idea about the torture I go through everyday?

Windows UAC

Hey! Looks like you’re trying to install a new software! And it looks like its downloaded from the internet.

Yes.

Hmm. iTunes 9. Do you really want to install this?

Yes.

Alright. <wait a minute> I really don’t think you should. It may harm your computer.

I don’t care.

Ookay. But still, I must ask again. Do you really want to install this?

Yes, you idiot!

Alright! There’s no need to get so angry! <wait five minutes> Unfortunately, this program doesn’t seem compatible with Windows. Wanna try with recommended settings?

Hmm, alright. Ballmer didn’t leave me another choice, did he?

Er, no he didn’t. Lets go over this again.

Hmm. iTunes 9. Do you really want to install this?

Yes.

Alright. <wait a minute> I really don’t think you should. It may harm your computer.

I don’t care.

Ookay. But still, I must ask again. Do you really want to install this?

Yes, you idiot!

Alright! There’s no need to get so angry! <wait five minutes> Looks like you don’t have the permission to install software. Do you have an administrator password?

This is an administrator account, you twat.

I know, but still. Gimme a password.

Here goes…

Alright, then.

Hmm. iTunes 9. Do you really want to install this?

Yes.

Alright. <wait a minute> I really don’t think you should. It may harm your computer.

I don’t care. No wait. Cancel the freakin’ installation!

But why?

Psst! Lemme give you a piece of friendly advice. Use Windows Media Player.

That doesn’t work with iPods.

Do I care? Buy a Zune, for Bill’s sake! And oh, that installation you wanted to cancel? You can’t. Its hung. Its crashed.

Die.

Now WHERE did I keep those Linux disks?

Googlle

Notice something strange with Google today?

Googlle

No, there’s no need to be very, very scared. Its only Google’s eleventh birthday! Happy birthday, son! You are four years younger than me.

Google was born on 4 September 1998, and was conceived by Larry Page and Sergey Brin. But you can read all that elsewhere.

P.S: I hope you noticed that the “ll” is actually 11 (eleven). I hope you noticed that. I really hope.

P.P.S: Happy Dussera everyone!

Review: District 9

District 9 Poster

Director: Neill Bolmkamp

Producer: Peter Jackson

Writers: Neill Bolmkamp

Terri Tatchell

Cast: Wikus van der Merwe (Sharlto Copley)

The rest are unimportant

First of all, you must know that District 9 was made on a measly budget of $50 million (thats about Rs. 144 Crores) only, which is about 4 times lesser than Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen’s budget of $200 million (Rs 962 Crores. Yikes). And, District 9 is approximately four times better than the latter. It puts big-budget films like Transformers to shame, with a cast and director not widely known at all.

District 9 is a movie based around an alien invasion. It’s not at all like your stereotypical alien-invasion film. In fact, it stands out distinctly. District 9 is does not focus on the alien invasion itself, but on the way it affects the entire society. But first, I must tell you about the simple, yet gripping plot.

An alien ship arrives in the 1980s, hovering over Johannesburg (South Africa), but instead of launching a hostile attack, it simply stays there.

The "prawn" spaceship hovering in Johannesburg

Further observation within the ship reveals that it consists only of a number of malnourished aliens (nicknamed “prawns”), who are too weak to attack. The SA government decides to throw them in some camp in Jo’burg, which eventually turns into a slum, courtesy MNU

Fast-forward to present day South Africa. People accept them as a part of their lives and (dis)integrate them into their society, and you often catch glimpses of hilarious signs, which is an obvious indication of the mindset of the people – Chuck. Prawns. Out.

Signs of Their Times

Multinational United (MNU) has been put in-charge of the aliens, although the name sounds more like a soccer club. MNU is responsible  for turning District 9 into a slum. And now, things get sinister when Head of Operations Wikus van der Merwe (Sharlto Copley) gets infected, and begin transforming into a prawn. Superbly directed by Neill, District 9 always keeps you on the edge of your seats, even when the entire cinema hall is empty and the popcorn tastes revolting (I was a victim). It is clear that all humans want from the aliens is their sophisticated weapons, which work only with their DNA, where renders any human incapable of operating it. MNU uses employee Wikus to their own advantage – to operate weapons, and rip apart his heart and bone marrow to transfer the DNA to other individuals.

I don’t want to reveal any more of this plot, but I can safely say that basing this film in South Africa was very ingenious indeed, as it reminds you of the apartheid system. Aliens bound in chains by the MNU and the government, who rip apart their houses at will. Of course, there is a message from the movie, but unlike others, you grasp it without it being dinned into your head.

Also, the way the characters are written also makes the movie an engaging watch. Look out for Copley, who acts superbly as Wikus. The pain he has to go through is so severe and so well depicted, that you feel it too. Watch out for the alien scientist Christopher as well, and the odd bond which develops between Wikus and Christopher. Director Neill Bolmkamp has also paid great attention to detail, showing how the crime never stays clear of slums, and how locals take advantage of the aliens, by enticing them with their favourite cat food.

However, you will never miss the action and violence. There is plenty. A lot of heads are severed from the bodies and crushed upon my walking people. Aliens and humans are electrocuted alike, with blood and flesh falling on camera.

Of course, District 9 does have its fair share of worries. But the best part is, they may never seem to intrigue you. The film starts off more like a documentary, which may lead to slight boredom. Also, the ending of the film may not please you, as Wikus is stuck as a prawn forever. (Did I mention a spoiler warning?)

In the end, District 9 turns out to be an excellent film. See it for sure, as it is a mixture of a superb plot and stunning visual effects as well as sincere acting. Most of which other big budget films lack.

Plot: 9

Acting: 10

Visual+Sound Effects: 9

Direction: 9

Screenplay: 8

Rating: 9/10 (Brilliant!)

Tweetable Shadow Line Bottom Line: District 9 outclasses big-budgeters with excellent acting, superb special effects and a great plot.

Extremely Important Blogging Tips

1) Be yourself. Don’t try to show off in front of your readers.

2) Never make a “How to Blog” or “Blogging Tips” post.

In Our World, 2=1

Let us take two variables a and b

Let a=b

Therefore, a²=ab

Therefore, a²-b²=ab-b² (Subtracting b² from both sides)
Therefore, (a+b)(a-b)=b(a-b) (using identiy a²-b² = (a+b)(a-b)

Therefore, a+b=b (Dividing (a-b) from both sides)

Since a=b, we can substitute a in place of b

Therefore, a+a=a

Therefore, 2a=a

Therefore, 2=1

In out world, two is equal to one.

Hence, proved.

A Wannabe And A Passionate Manchester United Fan

There was this Facebook note I stumbled upon, written by a certain Sagar Malik. It was about Man Utd/”Man U” fans. How a wannabe fan is different from a passionate fan.

If you ask a United fan which team he supports,
True fan: Manchester United or United.
Wannabe fan: ManU

A wannabe fan would ask people what time the match is, a true fan would know the time by heart- both IST and GMT!

A wannabe fan would only know about players like Ronaldo, Rooney, Tevez, Berbatov.
A true fan could name the playing 11 AND the substitutes and the reserve team too, probably.

A wannabe fan would say that United’s manager is Alex Ferguson.
A true fan would say, “Sir Alex Ferguson”.

A wannabe fan would criticize the team during the match and probably abuse them too.
A true fan would be patient till the end of the match, and then be critical.

A wannabe fan would wear a Chelsea, Liverpool or Arsenal jersey because it looks good. (eg- Lekhi)
A true fan would die but not wear it.

A wannabe fan would say “Kal school hai, I can’t watch the match” (I have school tomorrow, can’t watch the match)
A true fan would say, “Forget the school, Its Champions’ League”

A wannabe fan would ask people “Who won?”
A true fan would remember the goals’ timings.

A wannabe fan would tell people he supports Chelsea if other people tell him/her to.
A true fan would never do that.

A wannabe fan would be convinced by Kop-supporting people that they should support Liverpool.
A true fan is oblivious to such situations.

A wannabe fan would like United because of a particular player.
A true fan would love United because of its history, its style-of-play, its enigma.

A wannabe fan only knows that United has won the title.
A true fan has rejoiced with the glory, and cried watching the memories of the Munich Disaster.