Review: 2012


2012 Release Poster

Director:  Roland Emmerich

Producers:  Roland Emmerich
Mark Gordon
Harald Kloser
Larry J. Franco
Ute Emmerich

Cast:

CGI as Awesomeness (in the lead role)

Supporting Cast

John Cusack as Jackson Curtis

Amanda Peet as Kate Curtis

Thandie Newton as Laura Wilson

Zlatko Buric as Yuri Karpov

Oliver Platt as Carl Anheuser

Jimi Mistry as Dr. Satnam Tsurutani

My past reviews have been pretty long and boring, so I’ll cut this one short.

Review: Is there anyone in this world, who has not escaped the clutches of Roland Emmerich? Ever heard of Independence Day, Godzilla, The Day After Tomorrow and 10,000 BC? Definitely. So here comes another one, 2012, which is also based on Roland’s favourite theme: destruction. Now there are several apocalypse theories ranging from a huge asteroid hitting the ocean to Jeremy laughing on Candace, but Roland chooses the Mayan prophecy of solar fires which happens once every 600,000 years.  Incidentally, that is also the time Kolkata Night Riders will take to win the Indian Premier League. Once.

John Cusack plays Jackson Curtis, who is a failed novel writer and a divorcee as well. He now works as a limo driver to earn money, and that must be the reason Kate Curtis left him in the first place. Now Jackson meets a maniac in Yellowstone, who tells him why the world is ending, and also that the US Government has arranged ships (or arks) for their survival in the ocean, via a splendid amateur Flash animation. But what is not clear is, that why the government is keeping all this secret.

And Indian (Jimi Hendrix) informs a White House executive about the end of the world, by calling him to boiling Calcutta. It is also that same Indian who saves the world in the end, telling the same White House executive that a huge tsunami was coming over.

Towards the end you’ll realise that the Earth’s geography has changed dramatically. The African continent is now extremely fertile, and the south pole is stuck in the middle of the United States.

Like all of his previous movies (such as Independence Day, which is widely regarded as the worst movies ever to become a hit),  2012 is a big pile of noise and action, with absolutely no proper story or screenplay. It’s a ridiculous film. A pathetic one. A failure. And nothing extraordinary at all. The acting is poor, which is probably because there is no scope of acting here. The dialogue is ridiculous, and so are the facts. Dr. Satnam speaks in the way Americans would speak Hindi, not the way a native Calcutta guy would. In fact, he should not even speak Hindi, but Bengali, as he’s living in Calcutta! Another one: In a particular scene, Jackson’s plane takes off with family and Russian boss Yuri with a huge ash cloud behind them. So much ash in the air would definitely cause an airplane’s engines to go kaput. However, special effects are flawless, nothing like you’ve ever seen before. But Roland, you must realise (along with Michael Bay), that gone are the days when the audience could be won only on special effects! We need a solid plot, screenplay and acting to go with it, something which District 9 achieved successfully.

You must have realised by now, that 2012 is a bad film. It has been panned by critics all over the globe. But you know what? Once you finish watching the movie you actually feel its good, completely knowing the fact that you really shouldn’t have liked it. Is the dialogue silly? Yes. But does it make you laugh? Oh yes. Is it stupid? Of course. But do you really care? NO!

There are memorable moments in the movie, especially the one in which Jackson is driving the limo with his family at a high-speed, when the road is cracking beneath the car. Buildings are falling down, and the limo jumps right through them. Oh, how can you forget the scene were Gordon takes off in a plane, when the runway is crumbling behind? And that scene, where Yuri and the others are sitting in a sports car (was it a Porsche?), and after Jackson’s failed efforts to start it, he says

Eeengine. Staaart.

at which it promptly revs up.

When it ends (rather too stereotypically, with the hero getting lost and resurfacing when presumed dead), you feel happy. It’s global cooperation that saved the day. Which will save the day any day, even today.

2012 is a flawed, worthless and too long at two hours and forty minutes, it is an becomes edge-of-the-seat thriller with some brilliant moments, which makes it one of the must-see movies of the year.

Detailed Ratings (out of 10)

Plot: 7
Acting: 5
Visual+Sound Effects: 10
Direction: 4
Screenplay: 4

Rating: 6/10 (Good)

Advertisements

7 comments

  1. pulkit.THEGEEK · November 27, 2009

    Apparently,i have escaped the clutches of Roland Emmerich.I’ve not seen Independence Day, Godzilla, The Day After Tomorrow and 10,000 BC. 😛

    • Aditya · November 27, 2009

      Which clearly means that you live under a rock. No offense 😛

  2. Ankur Banerjee · November 28, 2009

    One look at the trailer was enough to tell that this would be crap. 😉

    • Aditya · November 28, 2009

      Reminiscent of Transformers 2.

  3. Pingback: Review: Avatar « Shadow Line
  4. Pingback: Statistical Improbability « Shadow Line
  5. Pingback: Valentine’s Day? Republic Day? Same Thing Anyway « Shadow Line

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s